When Voldemort finally snapped
by Muthru
Summary: He is the devil.The only man who has ever been THAT evil.But then one day it all went horribly wrong.Why?...Well it all started when Wormtail...


The plan was simple; Wormtail was supposed to put veritaserum in His drink at the beginning of their usual Sunday meal…

But we all know what stupid dummy Wormtail is…

So when the time came he accidentally put happydappy -potion instead of veritaserum and offered _it_ to the Dark Lord…

This was actually Voldemort's Death Eaters' usual 'how to know my next move' day…

The potion started to effect during the dinner; they could suddenly see a _smile_ on Voldemort's hideous face which made them almost piss in their pants...

"_Is it supposed to work like that?_" Lucius Malfoy hissed to Severus Snape…

"_Well, it can have side effects. But that is so creepy… I mean I don't know_", Snape mumbled…

"_Should we test it by asking something?_" McNair whispered from the other side of the table…

"_My Lord?_" Lucius began…

"_Yes, Lucy?_" Voldemort answered…

Everybody was looking at him with stunned eyes…

"_Mmm… I was just wondering…_" 'Lucy' started…

"_Yeeesss?_" Voldie hissed…

"_What do you think about that Potter boy?_" Lucius piped…

All the Death Eaters in the room waited in silence…

"_Ooh, that sweet little boy you mean?_"

Lucius couldn't breathe... "_Sweet little boy my ass_", he thought…

But the Dark Lord didn't see this, he just continued:

"_That sexy hair of his is so adorable… And all that 'I'm going to kill Voldie' talk is so cute_"…

Death Eaters were freaking out…

"_What about Dumbledore?_" Severus cut in…

"_OMIGOD! I absolutely love his sock collection… Those Harry Potter socks with gold, red and black are the best with those little snitches flying around them_", Voldie squeaked…

"_O-key… Mmmm… What about muggles… Those hideous fucking animals?_" Lucius tried…

"_LUCIUS… DO NOT SWEAR ON MY TABLE… Those muggles are sweet and very smart you know… The Bold and the Beautiful is my favourite spare time soap opera… Ooh, and have you seen Orlando Bloom? What a hotty… Oh my… You just insulted my papa! How could you?!_" Voldie was almost crying…

"_I'm so sorry my Lord… I didn't mean it_", Lucius said hurriedly same time thinking who the hell was Orlando Bloom…

"_So are we gonna win this war?_" Draco Malfoy 'first-timer' asked coldly…

"_Draco?!_" Lucius snapped…

"_Ooh, don't worry Lucius… The boy just wanted to know_", Voldie said friendly and turned his tearful eyes to Draco who was annotating so that he wouldn't mess up again in these 'what does Voldie hide' sessions…

"_Of course… we are… going to… lose… I mean look at me! I'm as old as Dumbledore's newest socks!_"

And when the Dark Lord turned to look at his Death Eaters again, he saw nothing…

Everybody had left…

"_Hide and seek!_" Voldie squeaked happily and bounced off…

At Hogwarts

Harry, Hermione and Ron were just about to go and see if Hagrid needed any help with his new 'lovely' animals when they started to hear loud poping sounds from Hogwarts' gates…

When the sounds came nearer they could see about thirty Death Eaters who were ripping their black robes off along with the masks…

The Death Eaters didn't see the golden trio watching them with astonishment…

"_We have to find Harry Potter!_" someone yelled…

Everybody else nodded and started to run towards the school…

"_What the hell!_" Ron screamed…

The Death Eaters turned towards the sound and started runnig like a wild cow crowd…

Hermione took up her wand and targeted it to the crazy people (they still running wildly closer)…

"_Hermione, NO!!!_" Harry screamed…

"_What?!_" Hermione protested when Harry took her wand…

"_Wait! Draco Malfoy and his amazing massage hands are on their way! We don't want to lose them!_" Harry said…

They waited until the Death Eaters were near enough to be able to hear them…

"_What are you doing here?_" Harry spat…

Death Eaters kneeled and bowed…

"_Wow mate! That's nice… Can you make them dance too?_" Ron asked smiling from ear to ear…

Harry smirked…

"_Harry Potter… We came for safety. We don't wanna die!_" McNair wailed…

"_So Voldie's finally snapped?_" Hermione asked…

"_YES!_" they all shouted…

"_Well…_" Harry trailed off…

"_PLEASE!!!_" they pleaded…

"_On one condition_", Ron smiled maliciously…

A week later

"I _think it would have been better to stay home licking Voldie's expensive Italian boots_", Lucius said quietly…

"_Nah… I kind of like this. Reminds me of old school times_", Bella said and finished Neville's potion essay…

"_Yeah, but you don't have to polish Snape's dungeons every week_", Lucius said harshly…

"_SILENCE, YOU WORM!_" Ron bawled from their common room sofa where Draco was giving him a foot massage (Harry watching jealously)…

Voldemort's secret hide-out

"_Come out, come out, wherever you are! Ooh, a cookie… Yam… mmm… good… Come out, come out, wherever you are! … Lucius! Severus! Wormtail! … Anyone?!_"


End file.
